December 22nd, 2017 to December 22nd, 2018: One Year Out of South Korea and I've Been in The Twilight Zone
I landed at Salt Lake City International Airport on December 22nd, 2017, with a lot of money saved, two more paychecks coming in January and February because my job in Korea was that awesome (officially my contract ended March 1st, 2018), along with a boatload of hope and optimism. I had already been turned down by a few teaching jobs at that point, but I had already prepared myself for the upcoming battle: trying to readjust to life in the USA and resettle successfully. South Korea made up the third country I had been a long-term expat in. I spent 8 months in the Netherlands as a college student at Leiden University (should have been 12 but I spent my financial aid money a little too quickly) from 2002-03, a year and 8 months as a teacher in the Czech Republic from 2005-07, and 8 years and 11 months in South Korea: 2007-08 and then 2010-December 22nd, 2017.
Despite having the greatest job that I think a human could possibly have (15 hours a week was considered full-time for most years I was there. Then the last 1-2 were then changed to 18 hours. 4.5-5 months of paid vacation time also was a sweet aspect of the gig. I always took on more teaching hours than the 15/18 to get overtime pay. I worked with great colleagues and some of those colleagues were friends. I could go on about how awesome this job was but I think one gets the picture!), I was definitely ready to leave. I had already been thinking well in advance about leaving, as early as 2016. Why? I am still struggling to accurately describe the reason, but the most common I have given is that I felt it was like seeing a movie a thousand times, and I wanted something new. Life is more than just an amazing job. And it wasn’t even only about a job there. I could travel the world and save money during the summer and winters. Dating was fun and abundant. I lived in my mind the best way an expat in Korea could.
However, some of the darkest times of my life mentally happened in Korea in 2016. I’d say that period at times was extremely depressing, and little did I know that it would be nowhere near as bleak and depressing as periods of 2018 would be. That time in Korea I was paying money to a counselor and pouring out feelings. Why? I was wondering about the abnormal life I was living. I was tired of one-night stands and flings turning into nothing romantically. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted something serious per se- I would get a mixed reaction from married couples who would tell me not to get married or not to worry! But I did. I was dating foreign women and it was fun but I was always wondering if I would want to settle down or not. Some men I knew dating girls had already reached what I called a spiritual nirvana-they were fine to never get married or have kids and weren’t bothered by any pressure from anyone to do anything society deemed as normal. I know that some of them could have just been preaching that and not really believing that, but the truth was I was halfway there to that nirvana but can now say I am slowly getting there on the whole settling down/marriage aspect. I'd like to be able to feel that there is nothing to rush about, nothing to care about, and love will happen if it's going to happen. I want to feel good whether it happens or not.
I wasn’t helping my chances of settling down in Korea with all my traveling escapades. The winters in Korea were not fun as it was cold, dark, and snowy (I love that aspect of winter but didn’t want to be around that for the whole period of winter). The summers were hot, humid, rainy, and I didn’t like that either. But travel topped all things, even dating women in Korea, so it was always a sure thing for me to take off and travel during the summers and winters. I can’t recall a concrete example of a woman saying, “If you leave for 2.5 months to travel, we are finished!”. But I know it didn’t help.
Let me also point out that the aspects of South Korean life that I didn’t like when I was there, I really did not like. The fast-paced way of life, extremely awkward social situations, how cars are first and people second, the bad air quality, the respect culture based on age/status, the nationalism, etc. I could never see myself living in South Korea forever, and I can only assume that the expats who do plan to live there indefinitely have either accepted and are not bothered by the aforementioned aspects or have nothing to go back to in the in their home countries. I would describe “family pressure” was a part of my case with some family members, but I also had enjoyed the numerous trips I had made to the U.S. during my time in Korea, and I had really wanted to try and make it in the U.S. Could I travel, be around friends and family, and have a good job? I was very realistic and knew life in the U.S. would be a challenge for me to be completely satisfied. I of course knew that I was going back to a country with lots of political problems (i.e. a WRONG stance on providing health care to its citizens, a moron of a president, and a country that has serious gun issues, etc.), but I also knew at the time that I loved a lot of aspects of U.S. life.
So now I look back on a year out of South Korea and a lot of it was dark because I have battled with patience, insecurity, and a lot of rejections job wise. A year ago, with all the money saved (including pension), I was feeling happy, hopeful, and ready to take on American life. I had already been rejected by some jobs that I thought for sure I would get, but none of my friends and family would allow me to feel bad. “Oh, they have to post jobs online, they legally have to do that, but they’ve already made their decision to hire within.” “Keep trying” etc. One conclusion I came up with was that in general, experience in other countries doesn’t automatically make you a hot candidate for teaching in the U.S. Now, I think that is a terrible aspect of the ESL/EFL field. Experience in another country should be a bonus to someone’s resume. But then I thought about Korea-in the early days I was there, sometimes one got a university teaching job simply because they were referred by their friend without any attention to who the most qualified candidate would be. They didn’t need a master’s degree at that time. Most universities now require a master’s, but I was thinking of all the logical reasons why I was getting all the job rejections. I was only looking at the college level, in which they were asking for a master’s degree and one year of higher education experience, but I had a master’s degree and eight years of higher education experience. I was getting accepted to jobs that I had taught at before my master’s degree program (private language schools), but I was holding myself to a higher standard and wouldn’t stop until I had a college type of job. But the rejections kept coming. At one point, this was January of 2018, I was getting so down about it. I was battling the type A part of me and didn’t know exactly what I could do. Some were saying, “Move to where you want to live, and then find a job” or vice versa. I had major doubts about life in Utah back in January, but also could see that life in San Diego involved a much higher cost of living and traffic, etc. In the end, I went with the path of living in the city that would offer me the job. Job first, city second. I then said, ‘If I don’t have a job by mid-February, then I am going on a big trip”. It started with some of the “must sees”: Russia, Scotland, and Morocco. But it then turned into a 3 and half month trip to cities of the U.S., Canada, and a boatload of countries in Europe, along with Morocco and Russia. In April I was finally accepted to jobs with University of Utah and an elementary teaching program in Las Vegas. It was only a “foot in the door” assignment with the U, but when I finally stopped traveling about the third week of June, I learned that the Uni of U job would now not be available due to low enrollment, which was also true at UCSD in San Diego. Obviously, the political situation in the U.S. is not making the U.S. a welcoming place to come and learn English. So I came back from the trip of a lifetime, but now was hit was news that made me at probably the lowest point I had felt in life besides the Korea down point. I had no idea how to solve the situation. Leaving to another country was on my mind, but even that wasn’t a guarantee to make me happy again. I then did a stint in South Dakota as a job recruiter. My time in South Dakota from September 15th-November 1st also contained a lot of depressing moments and insecurity about my new life here in the U.S., and ultimately, I quit on becoming a job recruiter (blog coming up later on that experience), but finally after checking up again on Uni of U, I was offered an immediate teaching assignment. So I drove back and began teaching there November 5th. I then was accepted to Salt Lake Community College. I am back doing what I love and every day gets better and better in terms of the job aspect. Starting in January, I will have a really good-sized teaching load at good pay and if I want I will even throw in Lyft and Uber sometimes, which I actually enjoy doing. I get to meet people and learn about the city, all the while listen to music and drink the glorious drink of coffee and tea. I finally have health care and I am a U.S. citizen! Wow! And Utah is slowly growing on me. I don’t know if I’ll stay here forever, but I have been rejuvenated again thanks to these teaching gigs. So in terms of work, I am feeling good, albeit an adjunct status at this point.
In Conclusion on Life in the U.S. and the Year Away From Korea in Review
Life in the U.S. certainly has its cons. If I go to a gas station/convenience store late at night, I have to look over my shoulder a bit if I see some random dudes standing around the entrance. My car was broken into for the first time in Salt Lake City. If I go to a public place, I have to consider that there might a be a dangerous psycho walking around. All of these things were issues I didn’t have to be concerned with in the safe country of South Korea. At this point, I could easily say I had ten times more fun in Korea than the U.S. But I got to do a lot of great things this year, including time spent with family. Besides travel abroad I got to go to Portland a couple times to see some great people. I got to visit San Diego a few times. I saw Mount Rushmore and The Badlands and took some glorious road trips through Utah, Wyoming, Colorado, North and South Dakota, Minnesota, and Nebraska. I celebrated my first Thanksgiving in nine years on U.S. soil. I’m healthier than ever and more than I ever could be compared to Korea. Job life and health are all trending upwards, but things still need to improve. I need to move to Salt Lake City as I have a about a 50-minute commute for driving. Dating life hasn’t been good at all, but then again I have been moving around a lot. I spent a lot of the money I had saved but I can’t say I regret anything that I spent it on.
I will give myself two progress checks in 2019. One would be at the start of summer and the second the end of 2019. If things aren’t back to optimal satisfaction levels, I would consider possibly leaving again. I’m glad more than ever though that I am doing this-trying.
I don’t miss South Korea in any emotional way. I was very emotional to leave the Netherlands and the Czech Republic, but I feel I was right about Korea-I left when I was 100% sure when I was ready to leave. I owe so many great memories to South Korea and it will be a country always in my heart and a best friend I would give a hug to. There were acts of kindness from Korean people that left me speechless in gratitude during my time there. I can thank Korea for all the cultural experiences and for showing me a society that in general is as safe as they come. Added to that, they had the best public transportation system I've ever seen. But it was time for me to go. I think I spent a good enough time there, and had a really fun time and had some great adventures 😉.
I’m ready for 2019 and hopeful that the other areas of life will improve!!!!!!!!!! 😊
Despite having the greatest job that I think a human could possibly have (15 hours a week was considered full-time for most years I was there. Then the last 1-2 were then changed to 18 hours. 4.5-5 months of paid vacation time also was a sweet aspect of the gig. I always took on more teaching hours than the 15/18 to get overtime pay. I worked with great colleagues and some of those colleagues were friends. I could go on about how awesome this job was but I think one gets the picture!), I was definitely ready to leave. I had already been thinking well in advance about leaving, as early as 2016. Why? I am still struggling to accurately describe the reason, but the most common I have given is that I felt it was like seeing a movie a thousand times, and I wanted something new. Life is more than just an amazing job. And it wasn’t even only about a job there. I could travel the world and save money during the summer and winters. Dating was fun and abundant. I lived in my mind the best way an expat in Korea could.
However, some of the darkest times of my life mentally happened in Korea in 2016. I’d say that period at times was extremely depressing, and little did I know that it would be nowhere near as bleak and depressing as periods of 2018 would be. That time in Korea I was paying money to a counselor and pouring out feelings. Why? I was wondering about the abnormal life I was living. I was tired of one-night stands and flings turning into nothing romantically. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted something serious per se- I would get a mixed reaction from married couples who would tell me not to get married or not to worry! But I did. I was dating foreign women and it was fun but I was always wondering if I would want to settle down or not. Some men I knew dating girls had already reached what I called a spiritual nirvana-they were fine to never get married or have kids and weren’t bothered by any pressure from anyone to do anything society deemed as normal. I know that some of them could have just been preaching that and not really believing that, but the truth was I was halfway there to that nirvana but can now say I am slowly getting there on the whole settling down/marriage aspect. I'd like to be able to feel that there is nothing to rush about, nothing to care about, and love will happen if it's going to happen. I want to feel good whether it happens or not.
I wasn’t helping my chances of settling down in Korea with all my traveling escapades. The winters in Korea were not fun as it was cold, dark, and snowy (I love that aspect of winter but didn’t want to be around that for the whole period of winter). The summers were hot, humid, rainy, and I didn’t like that either. But travel topped all things, even dating women in Korea, so it was always a sure thing for me to take off and travel during the summers and winters. I can’t recall a concrete example of a woman saying, “If you leave for 2.5 months to travel, we are finished!”. But I know it didn’t help.
Let me also point out that the aspects of South Korean life that I didn’t like when I was there, I really did not like. The fast-paced way of life, extremely awkward social situations, how cars are first and people second, the bad air quality, the respect culture based on age/status, the nationalism, etc. I could never see myself living in South Korea forever, and I can only assume that the expats who do plan to live there indefinitely have either accepted and are not bothered by the aforementioned aspects or have nothing to go back to in the in their home countries. I would describe “family pressure” was a part of my case with some family members, but I also had enjoyed the numerous trips I had made to the U.S. during my time in Korea, and I had really wanted to try and make it in the U.S. Could I travel, be around friends and family, and have a good job? I was very realistic and knew life in the U.S. would be a challenge for me to be completely satisfied. I of course knew that I was going back to a country with lots of political problems (i.e. a WRONG stance on providing health care to its citizens, a moron of a president, and a country that has serious gun issues, etc.), but I also knew at the time that I loved a lot of aspects of U.S. life.
So now I look back on a year out of South Korea and a lot of it was dark because I have battled with patience, insecurity, and a lot of rejections job wise. A year ago, with all the money saved (including pension), I was feeling happy, hopeful, and ready to take on American life. I had already been rejected by some jobs that I thought for sure I would get, but none of my friends and family would allow me to feel bad. “Oh, they have to post jobs online, they legally have to do that, but they’ve already made their decision to hire within.” “Keep trying” etc. One conclusion I came up with was that in general, experience in other countries doesn’t automatically make you a hot candidate for teaching in the U.S. Now, I think that is a terrible aspect of the ESL/EFL field. Experience in another country should be a bonus to someone’s resume. But then I thought about Korea-in the early days I was there, sometimes one got a university teaching job simply because they were referred by their friend without any attention to who the most qualified candidate would be. They didn’t need a master’s degree at that time. Most universities now require a master’s, but I was thinking of all the logical reasons why I was getting all the job rejections. I was only looking at the college level, in which they were asking for a master’s degree and one year of higher education experience, but I had a master’s degree and eight years of higher education experience. I was getting accepted to jobs that I had taught at before my master’s degree program (private language schools), but I was holding myself to a higher standard and wouldn’t stop until I had a college type of job. But the rejections kept coming. At one point, this was January of 2018, I was getting so down about it. I was battling the type A part of me and didn’t know exactly what I could do. Some were saying, “Move to where you want to live, and then find a job” or vice versa. I had major doubts about life in Utah back in January, but also could see that life in San Diego involved a much higher cost of living and traffic, etc. In the end, I went with the path of living in the city that would offer me the job. Job first, city second. I then said, ‘If I don’t have a job by mid-February, then I am going on a big trip”. It started with some of the “must sees”: Russia, Scotland, and Morocco. But it then turned into a 3 and half month trip to cities of the U.S., Canada, and a boatload of countries in Europe, along with Morocco and Russia. In April I was finally accepted to jobs with University of Utah and an elementary teaching program in Las Vegas. It was only a “foot in the door” assignment with the U, but when I finally stopped traveling about the third week of June, I learned that the Uni of U job would now not be available due to low enrollment, which was also true at UCSD in San Diego. Obviously, the political situation in the U.S. is not making the U.S. a welcoming place to come and learn English. So I came back from the trip of a lifetime, but now was hit was news that made me at probably the lowest point I had felt in life besides the Korea down point. I had no idea how to solve the situation. Leaving to another country was on my mind, but even that wasn’t a guarantee to make me happy again. I then did a stint in South Dakota as a job recruiter. My time in South Dakota from September 15th-November 1st also contained a lot of depressing moments and insecurity about my new life here in the U.S., and ultimately, I quit on becoming a job recruiter (blog coming up later on that experience), but finally after checking up again on Uni of U, I was offered an immediate teaching assignment. So I drove back and began teaching there November 5th. I then was accepted to Salt Lake Community College. I am back doing what I love and every day gets better and better in terms of the job aspect. Starting in January, I will have a really good-sized teaching load at good pay and if I want I will even throw in Lyft and Uber sometimes, which I actually enjoy doing. I get to meet people and learn about the city, all the while listen to music and drink the glorious drink of coffee and tea. I finally have health care and I am a U.S. citizen! Wow! And Utah is slowly growing on me. I don’t know if I’ll stay here forever, but I have been rejuvenated again thanks to these teaching gigs. So in terms of work, I am feeling good, albeit an adjunct status at this point.
In Conclusion on Life in the U.S. and the Year Away From Korea in Review
Life in the U.S. certainly has its cons. If I go to a gas station/convenience store late at night, I have to look over my shoulder a bit if I see some random dudes standing around the entrance. My car was broken into for the first time in Salt Lake City. If I go to a public place, I have to consider that there might a be a dangerous psycho walking around. All of these things were issues I didn’t have to be concerned with in the safe country of South Korea. At this point, I could easily say I had ten times more fun in Korea than the U.S. But I got to do a lot of great things this year, including time spent with family. Besides travel abroad I got to go to Portland a couple times to see some great people. I got to visit San Diego a few times. I saw Mount Rushmore and The Badlands and took some glorious road trips through Utah, Wyoming, Colorado, North and South Dakota, Minnesota, and Nebraska. I celebrated my first Thanksgiving in nine years on U.S. soil. I’m healthier than ever and more than I ever could be compared to Korea. Job life and health are all trending upwards, but things still need to improve. I need to move to Salt Lake City as I have a about a 50-minute commute for driving. Dating life hasn’t been good at all, but then again I have been moving around a lot. I spent a lot of the money I had saved but I can’t say I regret anything that I spent it on.
I will give myself two progress checks in 2019. One would be at the start of summer and the second the end of 2019. If things aren’t back to optimal satisfaction levels, I would consider possibly leaving again. I’m glad more than ever though that I am doing this-trying.
I don’t miss South Korea in any emotional way. I was very emotional to leave the Netherlands and the Czech Republic, but I feel I was right about Korea-I left when I was 100% sure when I was ready to leave. I owe so many great memories to South Korea and it will be a country always in my heart and a best friend I would give a hug to. There were acts of kindness from Korean people that left me speechless in gratitude during my time there. I can thank Korea for all the cultural experiences and for showing me a society that in general is as safe as they come. Added to that, they had the best public transportation system I've ever seen. But it was time for me to go. I think I spent a good enough time there, and had a really fun time and had some great adventures 😉.
I’m ready for 2019 and hopeful that the other areas of life will improve!!!!!!!!!! 😊
Wishing you the best!
ReplyDeleteI'm also happy with my choice to leave. It's possible there could be good opportunities for you in other countries in the future. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYes it was helpful our talks and texts as we took the jump together!
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